Monday, May 27, 2013

Waffles and Spaghetti

I was talking with my oldest brother not too long ago and we were deep in a conversation about relationships. I’m 32 and have been married nearly 9 years with 4 kids. He’s 36 and never been married but close (I hope). Usually the relationship conversations are directed towards him…loads of questions coming from him. But that particular day it was my turn to vent. My turn to unload. I wasn’t necessarily looking for any answers or solutions. In fact, THAT is exactly what the conversation was about. How men, when faced with a woman with a problem (be it emotional or otherwise) they, by their nature, usually seek to put a solution to it. And women, when presenting themselves and their problem(s) to their men aren’t necessarily looking for a solution but just someone to listen. We laughed at how different we were. My brother was telling me how men often times see fairly clearly when it comes to emotional issues:

Your sad because you’ve let yourself go and can’t fit into the clothes you want?
Workout. Get back in shape.

You find out a girlfriend is gossiping about you and it isn’t kind things she’s spreading?
Stop talking to her. Or in the very least, stop telling her personal things.

You’re tired and overwhelmed by all the work you have to face staying home with 4 young kids all day?
Get to bed earlier. Eat healthier. Workout.

You feel depressed and you don’t know why?
Chances are it’s hormonal. ;-)

And on and on and on.
90% of the time we just want them to listen, nod, and say, “Oh honey. I’m so sorry your feeling this way. Is there anything I can do to help?” But men aren’t like that. Not usually anyway. They’ll either spout a solution or they’ll keep their mouth shut until prompted to speak.

“Waffles and spaghetti,” my brother says with a chuckle.
“Huh?” I respond.
“Waffles and spaghetti,” he replies matter of factly. “You see, men are compartmentalized. Like waffles. Everything has a place in our world. Open one door only after closing another. Women are spaghetti. Everything is intertwined and often times messy. Breakfast and dinner. The difference of night and day.”

I LOVE this analogy. Waffles and spaghetti.

Y'all know what I'm talking about?

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