Faithfulness

God's faithfulness astounds me...moves me...humbles me. John got home last night and I got everyone to the table to eat. The kids (and men) had their food and seemed content. I then proceeded to excuse myself for some much needed meltdown time. John simply nodded, trying to understand. I walked outside, grabbed a patio chair, and made my way across the pasture to the edge of the bean field. It was there that I emptied my sorrows to the wind. It was there that I felt surrounded by no one and everything all at the same time. It was a completely consoling moment. "Be still and know that I am God." Was all I heard...."Be still.....and KNOW.....that I am God."

"Be still."

We had a most wonderful tearful exchange, God and I. And after about 45 minutes I collected myself, took in a handful of deep soothing breaths, and headed back to the house.

John, being the great man that he is, had the kids fed, bathed, pj-ed, and sitting watching Wall-E. He kissed my cheek and told me he wasn't sure if there was anything he could do to help me feel better, but whatever I need just tell him. Tears welled up again and he just held me for what seemed like an endless 2 minutes. A perfectly endless 2 minutes.

He helped me clean up the kitchen. And while I was elbow deep in suds at the sink asking God when these sharp edges of grief would soften, I looked up and saw this right in front of me.....

A smile came. And the tears stopped.
*sigh*

Thank You.